Mahala

My creative process is a necessity. It comes in many forms, life is art.

I try to move in a way to be expressive, always, the release of energy in motion - e.motion, (a learnt definition from a wise teacher).
This is a new process for me: the ever expressive.

I've been in CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) for 10 years now, was happy to see my decade anniversary come around this year, for real. I'm now lucky enough to have the tools to create my thoughts, behaviors and emotions now, not allow them to create "me". I am grateful!

In terms of songwriting/poetry, it also comes in many forms.

 

I try to hear what my body needs, I try to:

"be"

"this.here.now"   flow, accept, acknowledge, listen..

 

I used to come to songwriting out of a need to survive,

 

I was so irritated, sad, angry, guilty, confused, lost, numb..

I needed something to help me pull myself from myself, to "uncage", to FEEL SOMETHING! Annnnd... sweet release. The tears flow plenty.

The tears did flow plenty, and they continue to now.

My songs of past are too painful for me to return to, I won't allow myself which I feel is both a protective measure but I am aware these songs have served their purpose,

this is what my heart tells me.

It's hard to intellectually left-brained know what the "right" thing to do is, our greatest guide is our heart.

Painful to open, but worth the ride.

I now come to songwriting as if breathing, or making breakfast, (it's all about building habit).

I've so deeply embedded the healing practice of releasing emotion

that when I discount it from myself

my Spirit has an itch,

I reckon all creatives, (whom, I believe us all to be), know this feeling.
"Come on! Let's Play!" *the tugging of sleeves to jump down a slide.

And I do mainly try to write half as a creation of my future and half as an intuitive flow wrapped in metaphor my Spirit offers to me, to be deciphered some time along the way as the great reveal. ALWAYS a trip, shortly followed by laughter.

However, lately I have experienced some testing times and music is still the sweet release for me, especially with sadness, always confused within me as anger.

The secret is I'm never really angry, it's just easier to be angry than sad.. a lazy person's sadness, HA! (laughing at myself as I am the lazy person in this context).

But songwriting really allows me to expose the complexity of emotion,

it can be cluttered with

perceptions, external influences, stagnated unhealed traumas, expectation from yourself and others..

it's tricky, man. I don't really know what's going on half the time,

that's why I find solitude so intoxicating and why

mindfulness is

IMPERATIVE

to exist.

I find I only truly know myself, which is something to be cherished and cared for.

It's a beautiful thing. We are beautiful things.

My inspirations for expressions... uhaaamm, LIFE!

I find words and language in formal conversation isn't enough to express the vastness of our human/earthly experiences, I need to through some melody moved by emotion/flow/feeling to get what I mean across, to be heart, understood.. to connect.
THIS PLANET! Maaan!

This planet.

The second greatest guide, Mumma Gaia, our body, our home.. this sh*t is SPEC-bloody-taculaarrr! I love it, it's directly reflective of my soul, that's how I wanna be..

I wanna be a butterfly drinking drops of rain, or be the rain drops being suckled by a feathery mouth of a goddamn butterfly! This place is nuts.
I genuinely don't have the words.. I really feel that, the feeling is so IMMENSE.
Also.. love, as the integral inspiration. I love love.. and the power of love, I've witnessed some pretty wild things come from the purity of giving.. Like this Cabaret in Lithgow...que poem


Free flowing
Knees showing
Planted on the floor.

A little sprout,
Magnum pronounced
Greets you at the door.

Blink's, longingly,
Breath swallowing,
The pit of tummy scruffed,

For Spirit tells,
Us, little nectars,
"Curiosity is about!"

How beautiful
Our Soul Divine
The mystery of life is Love,

And loved is every tiny petal
That opens at the touch.

We grant you this
Our deepest blessing,
Every word is for your call.

Know truly
that your ever-blooming
Person is adored.